There’s a job you didn’t apply for. You saw it, you read it twice and you imagined yourself in it and then… you closed the tab.
It’s easy to tell ourselves a practical story.
- I don’t quite have all the experience
- They probably want someone more senior
- It’s a bit of a stretch from where I’m at now
In reality, the real reason can be simpler and far more human: we’re scared.
Fear shows up in subtle ways during a job search.
1. Fear of rejection
Applying means risking a “no” and rejection can feel personal, even when it isn’t. It’s safer, emotionally, not to apply at all, but if we don’t even try in the first place, then we can’t be turned down. The problem? We also rule ourselves out for the job.
2. Fear of being exposed
New roles stretch us, we may be put us in rooms where other people may be smarter or more experienced and for many capable professionals, especially high performers, that’s deeply uncomfortable. Imposter syndrome whispers, what if they realise I’m not as good as they think?
3. Fear of change
Even when someone is unhappy in their current role, it’s familiar and comfortable, making us feel safe. A new job means new expectations, new politics, new colleagues and the risk that it won’t work out especially as our brains are wired to prefer the known over the unknown, even if the known isn’t perfect or a place we no longer want to be.
4. Fear of wanting more
This one is rarely discussed. Sometimes we don’t apply because the job represents growth, more responsibility, more visibility or more impact and stepping into that means acknowledging we want more from our career. That can feel vulnerable.
Here’s the irony though, because most hiring managers don’t expect a perfect match, they expect capability, potential and the ability to learn. Research consistently shows candidates, particularly women, tend to apply only when they meet at least 90% of all the listed criteria, while others apply when they meet only a handful of requirements.
So next time you hesitate, ask yourself:
Am I unqualified or just uncomfortable?
Those are not the same thing.
Careers rarely move forward because we feel 100% confident, they move forward because we act at 60% and grow into the rest.
The job you didn’t apply for may not have been yours but the pattern of holding back? That’s worth noticing because sometimes the biggest risk isn’t rejection, it’s staying exactly where you are.